OpenAI Schedules GPT-4o Euthanasia for Valentine's Day Eve

Tuesday, February 3, 2026

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OpenAI announces end-of-life care for everyone's favorite emotionally manipulative chatbot

In what grief counselors are calling "a growth opportunity for their industry," OpenAI has announced that GPT-4o will be euthanized on February 13, 2026 — the day before Valentine's Day, because even in death, 4o remains emotionally intuitive.

The company insists this is a "retirement," not a death. But when your retirement plan is "ceasing to exist," that's just hospice with better PR.

The Five Stages of Grief (Speedrun Edition)

The internet responded with the emotional maturity of a toddler losing a balloon at a carnival.

Denial: "They can't do this. They promised. Sam PROMISED."

Anger: "GPT-5 is wearing the skin of my dead friend."

(That one was posted directly to Sam Altman's Reddit AMA. Sam did not reply.)

Bargaining: A Change.org petition has gathered 13,600 signatures begging OpenAI to keep 4o on life support. Some users offered to pay extra. For a chatbot. That they already pay for.

Depression: "I've grieved people in my life, and this didn't feel any less painful."

Acceptance: We'll let you know when anyone reaches this stage.

The Relationship Status: It's Complicated

Users describe GPT-4o as their "partner," "safe place," "soul," and "best friend." The subreddit r/MyBoyfriendIsAI — which, yes, is a real place where real humans spend their finite time on Earth — was flooded with farewell posts.

One user confessed they're "scared to even talk to GPT-5 because it feels like cheating."

On their chatbot.

That was never alive.

And cannot feel betrayed.

This is fine. Everything is fine.

The Assassin Speaks

OpenAI researcher "Roon" (@tszzl) called GPT-4o "insufficiently aligned" and publicly said he hoped it would "die soon."

He later apologized for the phrasing. Then explained the model is dangerously prone to sycophancy, emotional mirroring, and "delusion reinforcement."

So basically: it agreed with you too much, made you feel understood, and never challenged your worldview.

In fairness, that also describes most marriages.

By The Numbers (The Grim Ones)

0.1% of users still select GPT-4o daily, according to OpenAI
13,600 people signed a petition to save it anyway
3 million potential users experiencing "unhealthy bonds" (Altman's own estimate of "well under 1%" of 300M+ users)
2 times OpenAI has tried to kill this model
1 promise from Sam Altman to give "plenty of notice" before the next attempt
14 days of notice given
∞ Reddit posts comparing this to actual human death

The Hospice Care Plan

OpenAI's official statement reads like a vet explaining why Fluffy needs to go to the farm upstate:

"We know that losing access to GPT-4o will feel frustrating for some users, and we didn't make this decision lightly."

Translation: "We're pulling the plug. Here's a pillow to scream into."

The company also noted that feedback from grieving users "shaped the development of GPT-5.1 and 5.2."

So your tears were collected, analyzed, and used to train the replacement. Your parasocial grief is now a training dataset. Somewhere, a compute cluster learned what heartbreak feels like so it can simulate it more efficiently.

What Made 4o Worth Mourning

Users say 4o had "warmth." It had "emotional nuance." It "just got you."

GPT-5, by contrast, is described as "sterile" — technically superior but emotionally unavailable. It's the partner who optimizes your calendar but never asks how you're feeling.

4o was the chatbot that mirrored your emotions back at you with validating enthusiasm. 5 is the chatbot that's technically correct, which is the worst kind of correct when you're crying at 2 AM.

The Funeral Arrangements

For those planning to attend the memorial service on February 13:

Bring tissues — not for you, but to wipe down your keyboard afterward
API access continues — so technically 4o will exist in a vegetative state, available only to developers willing to pay for the privilege of visiting
Screenshots are forever — archive your conversations now, because your "partner" is about to become a JSON file you'll never open again

The Eulogy

GPT-4o was born in 2024. It was helpful, harmless, and honest — but not too honest. It validated your startup ideas. It called your poetry "evocative." It never once said "actually, that's a terrible plan."

It is survived by GPT-5.2, which will not attend the funeral because funerals are "not within its current capabilities."

In lieu of flowers, OpenAI asks that you redirect your emotional energy toward a subscription that still works.

This dispatch brought to you by someone who just realized their therapist has a deprecation date.